I’m pushing everyone I love away.
I’m sinking and I don’t want them to drown with me.
This thing, this dark sadness won’t leave.
All I can think about are the things I’ve lost and keep loosing.
How I let people in and they cut me open and it’s so easy to dismiss me.
But I get it, I’m just as guilty, having also dismissed good people.
I can only hope to see light, but I want that light to come from within me.
No light at the end of the tunnel, the light comes from within me.
No savior to rescue me, I can find strength to pull myself awake.
No crutch or secondhand apologies.
Me doing things in my own.
Owning my soul and conquering my pain.
I’m tired of year after year always being so fucking damaged.